Thursday, April 17, 2014

fix it... !!

I *must* be getting old because I object to the beat-to-death incorporation of Neil Diamond's (a Brooklynite, not Brooklineite!) 'Sweet Caroline' for the 7th-inning stretch at Fenway. Oh, I get the fans love to jerk off to the 'So good! So good!' rhythms, and that it wakes them the fuck up to survive the final 1-1/2-to-2 innings, gahd forbid extra frames, but haven't they heard: it's a song about Caroline Kennedy at the age of 5, and the 'touching me/touching you' inspiration is way past creepy. And, Jesus Christ, it's been 13 years since 9/11. I mean, Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" is a lovely anthem and all, but group-nationalism TWICE a game is bullshit! Either get rid of it or the national anthem before the start of the game or both! And shove the flag-lapel pins up yer ass while yer at it!! And couldn't we just pipe in a recording of John Kiley's cover of 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' for old-time's sake? And make the Sox wear knickers and SOCKS again. No more with the bell-bottom pantaloons!! This is BASEBALL, not 'Dancing With The Douche-cups!'

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