sheep's clothing...

[REPUBLISHED FROM MY DEFUNCT BLOG "THE MAINEIAC" (12/14/04) never more timely than from now until August 8th, i'd say... ]

David Corn speculates on the scurvy Joe Lieberman as the next bet for DHS Sec'y. I say scurvy for two reasons: one political, the other personal.

Politically he's Vichy, a collaborator with the Bush Nazis. It's why he was early toast in the democratic presidential primaries (in an era when loathing that which is Bush was, and still is, a healthy and human purging of the phlegm brought on by Red State Spongeform Ensephylopathy), that and his smarmy, hypocritical, holier-than-thou personna given voice with an insufferably adenoidal flint, facilitating little more than the tightening of his listener's colon.

Personally, Lieberman got up my wazoo just after Operation Desert Storm reached its conclusion. Lieberman and Sam Nunn, a better example of conservative Dem who could do it without sacrificing his integrity, went to Kuwait for clean-up oversight. It was 1991 and I was a weekend news anchor at WELI Radio in New Haven (made famous during John Kusack's victory speech in *True Colors* - interesting movie).

Lieberman's press secretary organized a phone conference among six stations across Connecticut from Bridgeport to Hartford. I had the first question.

"Senator, this police action has resulted in the deaths of dozens of coalition forces, the deaths of thousands, if not tens of thousands of Iraqis. Meanwhile Saadam is still on his throne in Baghdad even as we've [returned] the Emir of Kuwait, the deflowerer of virgins, back on his; you and your colleagues are now over there patting yourselves on the back; so maybe you can tell our listeners why it is we went to war in the Persian Gulf in the first place." The interview was pre-recorded and the question, as was, would never go on the air. I was in no mood to receive flack from a Lieberman apologist calling in.

But it may help add context to my attitude by recalling the beloved Donald Rumsfeld, working at the time for Ronald Reagan, being photographed carrying a shit-eating grin and a handshake to Saadam, while only a few years later, George Bush the 1st's ambassador enabled Saadam with the assurance the United States had no position on his imminent invasion of Kuwait -- that is, until Maggie "Attila the Hen" Thatcher scolded Poppy after the fact, "Now don't go wobbly on us, George!"

This was, of course, a few years before Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney (before he dicks you!) pushed for overriding sanctions against Saadam, that is before vice president Dick Cheney (again, before he dicks you!) pushed to override the override.

I don't recall Lieberman's mealy-mouthed response to my question, or maybe it was hearing that fingernail & chalkboard gargle in my headphones that caused my eyes to glaze and my brain to seize.

The next day, after my apparent blackout, I was called into my news director's office. The Senator's press secretary had called and was livid. "Who's that 'Geraldo Rivera' you had working yesterday?!"

"Jesus Christ!" I protested. "I didn't ask him about his sex life."

The news director laughed and sent me back to work.

But I had had it with Mr. Mashed Potatoface ever since.