Wednesday, July 09, 2014
I noted a couple of days ago that it was 37 years ago to the day when I was standing on the front porch of my mother's house on Lexington Street in Woburn, Massachusetts. I know this because the postman was delivering her her mail, and one piece for which she had to sign. She remarked aloud, "Oh hey, today's '7.7.77!'"
The postman sounded surprised and nodded, "Oh yeah!"
My mother nodded too and asked rhetorically, "Isn't that interesting?"
Nodding some more, the postman acknowledged, "Sure is!" Both still nodding, neither sure as to how to extricate themselves from this bit of comedy.
Years later, I would be able to compare it to a scene from the movie 'Fargo'--"Oh yahhh, you betcha!"
And a few years later, I can show you what I mean...
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Saturday, February 08, 2014
A well-made independent film is the remedy to the malady that is Hollywood. Predictability is lost in the Indie, as is the viewer's self-awareness.
What can I say? I'm red-blooded and American.
Monday, January 27, 2014
"Just before Christmas, a window was smashed on a Google bus in Oakland,across the San Francisco Bay. Last week, protesters doorstepped a Google engineer who they claimed was involved in working with the government to develop eavesdropping techniques and “war robots” for the military. “Anthony Levandowski is building an unconscionable world of surveillance, control and automation,” they wrote on flyers left near his house. “He is also your neighbor.”
Perkins didn't just call it a Kristallnacht, but a 'progressive Kristallnacht,' meaning anyone who dares question Corporate is a Nazi. But of course!
Yes, parallels there be perhaps. But let us consider the targets of those who would oppress us; not 'Jews' necessarily as Perkins and his Oligarchic friends would have it, but 'Plutocrats,' as in it's the Plutocrats who control Wall Street and the U.S. Media and the hi-tech industries, ergo the American government and, by extension, We The People of the United States... and the world! So, when they legislate and gerrymander our voting rights away from us, or when they steal our money from us and claim it as their own, showing little mercy or compassion and are kindly rewarded by the White House and Congress, one can only wonder what recourse? Short of a violent uprising as a response, or submitting outright, what is there for the have-nots to do?
The answer, again of course, is to die.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Either Joe the Bummer suffers delusions of grandeur, thinking the media or assorted knuckle-draggers will still come a'calling if and when he disassociates himself from the Repos, or he's aware this will allow him to step out of the limelight and go back to what's left of his real life. If it's the latter, then he's smarter than I ever gave him credit for.
Now as for how low the GOP has sunk when even the Bummer can't be seen with it...
Monday, May 04, 2009
I discovered this via DailyKos, reminding me of when John McCain was getting grief from Colorado Republicans during last falls campaign because he was saying water from the Colorado River ought to be accessible in Arizona. I remember thinking, that could get ugly. Clearly I had... have no idea...
Setting aside Kemp, being a former member of Congress, as having access to the best health coverage money can buy (short of buying a human organ on the black market, say), Specter is fast exposing himself to rank & file Dems as being absolutely worthless as an ally. And it's beginning to look like Ed Rendell will have to eat his words about there being no Democratic primary in Pennsylvania next year.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Do you want to know who to blame for the US not being optimally prepared for an influenza pandemic? Start with Republican Senator from Maine Susan Collins[.]... which is not to absolve the Maine Democrats either. Tom Allen ran a monumentally half-assed campaign against Collins up here last year, and the Maine Dems therefore owe it to the rest of the country to find somebody better suited than nominating a milquetoast like Tom Allen for the Governor's chair next year.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Which has nothing really to do with my thought on the Cloris Leachman of Congress, Jane Harman, who must've pissed off some Intel bastard, who in turn leaked to the public her being wiretapped making sausages with an Israeli agent... except to say that if the bastard leaked on her, then it's possible s/he will, when the time comes, leak on the other 534 stupid bastards that are also members of Congress, and who almost certainly were thoroughly wiretapped as well.
This could get ugly.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Arizona State University has announced that it will not award an honorary degree to Obama when he gives the school's commencement speech on May. 13.Well, let's see: community organizer goes on to the Illinois State Legislature goes on to the United States Senate goes on to the Presidency of the United States. Never mind that Ms. Keeler (and evidently everybody in the ASU administration) is beyond stupid, the question ought to be whether anybody who ever received a degree from Arizona State, be it honorary or legit (and all those are now called into question), who's done more vis a vis their respective bodies of work?
“Because President Obama’s body of work is yet to come, it’s inappropriate to recognize him at this time,” said University spokeswoman Sharon Keeler, as reported by the ASU State Press.
Keeler said ASU only awards honorary degrees to “someone who’s really outstanding, who has made outstanding contributions in their field."
Meanwhile, let us imagine we have an honorary ASU degree in one hand, and a genuine Juris Doctorate from Harvard w/Harvard Law Review in the other. Which way, do you think, the scales tip?
ASU, the world sneers at you today!
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Political problem solved!
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Barking Up Trees at 7:44pm March 30
the u.s. is pulling outta iraq... ?
Heavynews at 7:50pm March 30
Well, if they are, it's only to intensify the battle in Afghanistan. Good. I'm more concerned that we quickly pull U.S. forces out of Detroit.
Barking Up Trees at 7:50pm March 30
or out of north america, eh... ?
Heavynews at 8:07pm March 30
Only if we're going to mass them at the Mexican border. That'll stimulate some economies.
Barking Up Trees at 8:10pm March 30
uhm, does it matter if mexico's also in north america... ?
Heavynews at 8:18pm March 30
I always regarded "North America" as more a political distinction than geographic, easily distinguished as those places where ice hockey is played. Mexico is much more analogous at this point to Central America's fake governments front for drug cartels. Besides, mister, when we get through annexing them, they'll be the 51st state. Or maybe the 52nd. Or, if you're our president. the 58th or maybe 59th.
Barking Up Trees at 8:19pm March 30
i'll consider that an endorsement...
Heavynews at 8:27pm March 30
I would vote for you, if only to expose you ... and to get you out of the education system and stop your poisoning of young minds, But that's just me.
Barking Up Trees at 8:29pm March 30
dude, didn't they tell you... ? mississip is in the minority... america is a blue state... but that's just me... ;)
Heavynews at 8:50pm March 30
Yes, well, you would think that. Something tels me you're conflating "majority" with "right," and that particular heavier-than-air craft rarely gets off the ground for long.
Barking Up Trees at 9:01pm March 30
agreed... ! (surprise!)... all i know, aside from parrying your assertions rather effectively, is that what is "right" is we stop acting as an imperialistic modern-day rome, killing the brown-skinned aliens because we can (might making right, as you appear to have it), or is it not your concern that we're, at the same time, as rome was, spiraling the porcelain punchbowl because of that precise arrogance to which you allude for the past 8 - nay, 50 - years... ?
Heavynews at 9:23pm March 30
I feel like Frank Sinatra on SNL listening to Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew. All I'm hearing is clicks and buzzes. Better luck at MyDD.com or DailyKos.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
She said I should talk more about my cat; that people like that sort of thing here. I didn't know I still had a cat. Explains a few things.
8:53 AM Mar 20th from web
There's a kid on a Pogo stick in front of my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him.
7:41 PM Mar 18th from web
Someone corrected my last post; said it's "frightened by" not "frightened of." Know what else I'm frightened of? Crazy people.
6:29 AM Mar 18th from web
I wondered how it could be they were in fact blindsided. And then I supposed it's because the American people hadn't raised so much as a stink about the Daschle/insider types being promoted from failure over the last ten years. But then I remembered much of what I have read and written on the Internet about the more prominent corporate media as having been wholly insufficient in covering the bubbling cauldron of contempt that was surfacing from without even as it worked in concert with the propagandistic manipulations of the Bush/Cheney oligarchy. It is that same corporate media that is now only too happy to broadcast and act as megaphone to the uncapped rage and varied frustrations of We The People, all the while gesturing furtively in the direction of President Obama and his administration as though they're the culprits responsible for the bind in which we find ourselves.
Well, Obama did promise Change!, didn't he? And at times he seems a tad slow off the dime in effecting change, our impatience for immediacy notwithstanding. Moreover, perception of the president's finance team as perhaps not being up to the task of dealing with the crises is very real, and, in large part, *looks* to have been well earned. Whether his luck and/or skill is once again underestimated, one can only hope. Meanwhile, one can only shake one's head at the preposterousness that is today's Republican party and at the members of which who feign the populist's outrage at all things Wall Street; for let us never forget they are indeed the loathsome lot responsible for the interesting times in which we live.
It says so right here.
Oh, and so says We The People the last two election cycles... lest you think me mad.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
After repeatedly telling Cheney his mind was made up, Bush became so exasperated with Cheney's persistence he told aides he didn't want to discuss the matter any further.And just as suddenly I'm left scratching my noggin. So why didn't Dubya pardon Scooter Libby? The guess here is The Decider resented his #2 for taking the precipitant action of outing Valerie Plame without consulting him first, and causing as much a serious shit-storm as Dubya's people had to handle.
The unsuccessful full-court press left Cheney bitter. "He's furious with Bush," a Cheney source told The News. "He's really angry about it and decided he's going to say what he believes."
As for Cheney's consternation, Bush only commuted Libby's 30-month sentence, which translated into a get out of jail free. Without a full pardon, however, Libby is disbarred and cannot now practice law. Ach! -- the price one pays for being convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice.
Oh well, he can still go back to writing schlock novels or bad poetry to Judy Miller.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Oh wait! I did!
Breath easy, corporate apologists! If we were French, we'd just be, uhm, capping the CEOs.
Laissez les bon temps roulaire.
Update: Here's where "capping the CEOs" is less satisfying than "decapping."
WASHINGTON – A classified Pentagon report urges President Barack Obama to shift U.S. military strategy in Afghanistan, de-emphasizing democracy-building and concentrating more on targeting Taliban and al-Qaida sanctuaries inside Pakistan with the aid of Pakistani military forces.Setting aside for now a "classified Pentagon report" winding up on the internet (Daniel Ellsberg, call your office), nation-building Afghanistan always struck me as idiotic. The Soviets merely wanted to occupy the hellish place and look what happened to the Soviet Union. No, better we chase the Taliban hither and yon for eternity while keeping our troops out of harm's way as much as possible. It'll cost less too. If we can't build a democracy there, at least we can prevent it from resettling into that ugly theocracy again.
Meanwhile, why don't we build a democracy where the people actually want one -- like North America for example, now that we've overthrown the little dictator.
Monday, February 02, 2009
[P]oll data like this could indicate that the Republican Party is getting ready to relive the classic cycle of ruling parties who get turned out of power in a landslide: With the party base itself shrunk down, the people who are still around are the most hard-line members, and are really the least fit people to fix the situation.Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in a public cafe and feel a powerful need to suppress a giggle.
Fall From Power: Rumsfeld Relegated to Riding the Bus
Schadenfreude aside, this story reminds me of that day when an elderly man bumped into me on Connecticut Avenue in D.C., near the corner of K Street. He doddered, and I grasped his shoulders to steady him. He avoided eye contact and brushed past me, harrumphing a quiet apology to the air. I paused and double-took. Goddamn if that wasn't Robert McNamara, JFK's & Lyndon Johnson's defense secretary, the so-called architect of the Vietnam War.
I entertained the notion of grabbing him again, only this time to conduct a citizen's arrest. Shaking my head, I walked on.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Update: And is why I don't bet on football, other'n not having the change to spare -- I rarely beat the spread. Even so, that was entertainment.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Jan. 31 (Bloomberg) -- Banks in Florida, Maryland and Utah were closed yesterday as regulators wrapped up the busiest month for failures since the housing slump began in 2006.Save for the FDIC, one imagines a scene right out of It's a Wonderful Life. In time? Who knows? Could be worse.
Oh wait! It is...
France paralysed by a wave of strike action, the boulevards of Paris resembling a debris-strewn battleﬁeld. The Hungarian currency sinks to its lowest level ever against the euro, as the unemployment ﬁgure rises. Greek farmers block the road into Bulgaria in protest at low prices for their produce. New ﬁgures from the biggest bank in the Baltic show that the three post-Soviet states there face the biggest recessions in Europe.Well, that's over there -- not here. Yet. Meanwhile, this stuff is right out a Stanley Kubrick or Sidney Lumet movie. Hard to fathom it as reality. Maybe it'll catch up to me when I can't withdraw funds from my savings or a brick comes crashing through my window.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
... and with it came madness.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
"What you're observing out there may not seem as exciting as what you see on Law & Order," said Coleman. "But the principles that we're fighting for, that I fully believe are being established today, are more important than anything you'll see on Law & Order."Okay, Tom Cruise, I was glib. Coleman's lawsuit isn't so much frivolous as it is likely fruitless. I only wish Al Gore fought this hard in 2000 or John Kerry did in 2004, because those assholes had better cases to be brought against Florida and Ohio.
What the hell, I can live another month without Al Franken in the Senate provided this case sheds a shining light on the way states count votes in all elections. It's only democratic.
"Jesse Lynch is a brilliant and genre-defying pianist...capable of ferocious passion and tender subtlety at any given moment. His well rounded talent is as big as his musical vocabulary."
Producer, Old Port Records
"Jesse is one of the most talented and versatile musical souls I have ever worked with. His playing is technically exceptional and inspired no matter what style he is performing. He brings an egoless, open and creative energy to any ensemble playing with a sensitivity and maturity rarely found in players twice his age..."
Jazz Bassist, Meditator
"In my numerous performances with Jesse Lynch, I have found in him complete freedom-of-expression, clarity of stylistic understanding, and a depth of sincere personal involvement which I have always wished to find in my collegues. Jesse's technique is electrifying, his metamorphic trailblazing of ideas is thrilling, and his commitment to the moment is as strong as, if not stronger than what I have experienced with the greatest musicians I've worked with over the course of my career."
Trumpeter, Composer, Producer
"Jesse connects the horizons of minimalist sensuality to an explosive apocalyptic synergy. These are not terms regularly applied to music. Jesse Lynch is a musician who can not be cloaked in familiar robes...his improvisations are informed by the masters, his deft embrace of the spirit of creation and his deep love of music, spontaneity and truth."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
"Mercury is toxic in all its forms," said IATP's David Wallinga, M.D., and a co-author in both studies. "Given how much high fructose corn syrup is consumed by children, it could be a significant additional source of mercury never before considered. We are calling for immediate changes by industry and the FDA to help stop this avoidable mercury contamination of the food supply."Please pass the Soylent Green.
Never read him, although I have on my shelf somewhere "Run, Rabbit, Run!" (or something like that). Also made a bet once w/a friend that that was Updike over there drinking at the table in the Parker House bar in Boston. I was right.
Ratcheting it up, player-by-player: Schumer now aboard, following on the heels of Speaker Pelosi; Fredo on a charm-offensive (and how's that for an oxymoron?), which ought avail him naught.
And now the eyes of the world are upon the Obama administration asking: You gonna handle this or do we have to?
Waiting on how the Holder confirmation'll play out, the ball'll soon be in Obama's court.
Update: Rove re-reindicted. Fan. Shit. Hit. Etc.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The plan is simple: everyone is eligible for a version of Medicare under a new U.S. National Health Insurance Program.All in favor, say Aye!
The program would effectively put private insurers out of business. What to do with all those employees? Hire them, says Conyers' bill.
All opposed, get bent!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The big white strap over the shoulder? What is that -- a bedsheet? Is she wearing a toga? If so, she forgot the ivy garland as headpiece. And it's killing me because I dig her, but with the exception of that brazen red dress (as a statement of her still-hottieness, say) when the Obamas visited the Dubyas at the White House, I realized, and on more than one occasion now, that I simply cannot abide the dresses this woman wears. And those who know me know I'm just a regular guy and certainly no Mr. Freakin' Blackwell ferchryeye! They're that awful.
And what the hell is the new president's problem -- wearing a flag lapel pin on a tuxedo?? Now that was a smart-looking suit, and something like a red rose on the lapel would've looked really really sharp. But he has to cluck it up with the now-symbol of his capitulation to the faux & flatulent jingo-patriots. Get outttta here!
It's bad enough Obama wears the pin on his overcoat at the Inauguration -- even as these Republican Eddie Haskells, who, themselves, go pinless by the way, were snickering into their idiot-mittens about how they bullied him into such a craven concession. They used it as a cudgel because they had nothing else to beat him up with.
But now he's the president and he should tell them to go screw or get the ffflip over it!
Unfortunately, however, the heavy betting is now on whether he wears the fool thing on his jammies at beddy bye.
Geez! That's embarrassing!
Update: Okay, I'm in the minority but I ain't alone:
Michelle Obama's gown: love it or leave it?
Love it 55.4%
Leave it 38.49%
Limbaugh: I Hope Obama FailsWhat is there to add except to dismiss him as his own posterior's aperture?
Check out the wheels: a six-door stretch limo that looks air-tight and armored better than any general in Baghdad could hope for. I bet they could slow-drive through a nuclear shockwave in that thing. How many MPG does that thing get -- 3?
Talk is he's now in his bubble, rendering imperative his losing touch with the common man. I wonder if they took away his Blackberry after all. Of course, anybody who doesn't get online these days is, by definition, out of touch. The way things go.
Oop! There he is, gotten out of the car. And the crowd goes wild!!
Update: More on "The Beast" mobile.
"Although many of the vehicles' security enhancements cannot be discussed, it is safe to say that this car's security and coded communications systems make it the most technologically advanced protection vehicle in the world," said Nicholas Trotta, assistant director for the Office of Protective Operations."
Monday, January 19, 2009
What annoys me most is he's designated by the outgoing administration, i.e., the Cretin of Dallas, a right dandy means to a last-minute declaration of marshal law, if you ask me. But then that's what you get when you introduce the new boss/same as the ol' boss.
That's not change we can believe in.
Otherwise it's a logical decision.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.That's it! Time to get started on my best-seller.
They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.
Good-bye to your rip-offs, your malice, your arrogance, your ignorance, your outlawry, your denial, your deceit, your cronyism and your stubborn refusal to cease pushing the envelope in the department of shameless villainy. Goodbye to the administration you constructed of turdiness and explained with truthiness. To your smirk and your snarl. To your conscienceless cruelty. Good-bye to your corruption, your vanity, your world without grays. Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, you insufferable despot, and good riddance.Dude, you forgot the disgusting eating habits.
Did I just wake up from a two-year nap (complete with gnarly dreams), or did she?
Or maybe I'm dreaming now.
Pics taken 'round 4 p.m...
The snow is powdery and dry, more conducive for the cross-country skiers you'll see in passing than, say, snowballs for a snowman. The forecast says 12-14 inches. All I know, though, is it goes up to my knees, and the fact there are few cars on the road made walking in the streets, rather than on the unshovelled sidewalks (Maine St. notwithstanding), the better bet.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
On Friday night, [Obama] told CNN's John King that he has "always thought" Bush was a "good guy."However, I reserve the right to change my mind should my Attorney General bring indictments for war crimes.
Update: And then again, here's hoping Krauthammer's right when he says, "I think he is a guy who is intellectually curious and wants to exchange ideas, but also in part he wants to co-opt the vast right wing conspiracy.”
Friday, January 16, 2009
Following Tuesday's arrest of former Bay Area Rapid Transit officer Johannes Mehserle for murder in the fatal shooting of a defenseless suspect on New Year's Eve, another man has come forward to allege that Mehserle used excessive force against him on an earlier occasion.Admittedly this dude is an extreme case, but it'd be nice if we could vet candidate cops like they were cabinet nominees. Too often, it seems, the uniform itself confers some sense of absolute authority -- absolute in the mind of the wearer anyway, nearly always exceeding that which is necessary. And when that happens, bad things, as most certainly in this case, occur.
And today's special at the restaurant next door is Bearded Clams Casino.
h/t to HuffPo...
Some more good news: The Dems have 58, soon to be 59, Senators. Cloture vote requires 60, and Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, moderate Republicans who tend to blow with the wind, must very well be hearing it from their constituencies to play ball with the new President, vis a vis "stimulus," and not with the obstructionist mole-man from Kentucky.
So I'm optimistic, which means I haven't run out of money yet.
Rep. Edolphus Towns, D-N.Y., the incoming chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, said he will hold hearings and possibly subpoena NCAA officials, college presidents, players, coaches and athletics directors in an effort to force a playoff in Division 1-A football, USA Today reports.The yakkety yaks fuss about Congress needing to focus on the stimulus bill -- and fersherr, they really oughta. But the BCS, as I've said before, is a good-ol'-boyz abomination to any purist sports fan. Moreover, if the Repos can grandstand on steroids in Baseball (and how great is it, by the by, that they took down one of their reptilian own in Roger Clemens? -- Bwahahha!!), I figure a 1-A playoff system would go a long way to decentralize a Repo enclave and help -- *ahem* -- Spread The Wealth!
Hell! I might even start watching college football again.
Update: Next up on my grandiose scorecard: Creating competition among cable television providers. Oh, and make it a la carte por favor!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Asked if he plans to introduce the [military draft] legislation again in 2009, Rangel last week said, “Probably … yes."As I've said before, I'm all in favor of a draft, provided it's reverse-means tested. No exceptions: Family net worth determines who gets got first with the wealthiest kids getting tossed into the back of the truck, and only then go the upper middle kids, then the middle class kids, then the low enders, etc. Freakin' teenagers!
Hey, It was good enough for Prince Harry. Now there's a kid with some serious coin.
Oh, and remove the age limit too. Make Dubya, for having gone AWOL back when, go to the sandbox assigned to a unit with some of those little white supremist rednecks who upped for no reason than to off some brown-skinned people. Order them to run some gasoline in some under-armored deuce-&-half to a tank unit in a remote section outside the green zone.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media's slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel's being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?And Joe's real real good -- at what, I have no idea.
REPORTER: Do I believe it?
JOE: Yeah, do you?!
REPORTER: I'm Israeli, so...
JOE: So answer the question!
REPORTER: No, I don't think Israel is bad.
JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?
JOE: You do?!
JOE: Have you said that on air?
REPORTER: I'm just a reporter.
You think he'd be all grins if somebody stuck a fork in his ass?
Update: My question (had I been at this particular press conference):
"Would you mind autographing my shoe?" And I hold it aloft.
As a hoot (that, and the fact he still doesn't get it), he says "Shurr!"
And I say, "Here! Catch!
Dying Is Hard. Comedy Is Harder.
By JERRY SEINFELD
Published: June 24, 2008
THE honest truth is, for a comedian, even death is just a premise to make jokes about. I know this because I was on the phone with George Carlin nine days ago and we were making some death jokes. We were talking about Tim Russert and Bo Diddley and George said: “I feel safe for a while. There will probably be a break before they come after the next one. I always like to fly on an airline right after they’ve had a crash. It improves your odds.”
I called him to compliment him on his most recent special on HBO. Seventy years old and he cranks out another hour of great new stuff. He was in a hotel room in Las Vegas getting ready for his show. He was a monster.
You could certainly say that George downright invented modern American stand-up comedy in many ways. Every comedian does a little George. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been standing around with some comedians and someone talks about some idea for a joke and another comedian would say, “Carlin does it.” I’ve heard it my whole career: “Carlin does it,” “Carlin already did it,” “Carlin did it eight years ago.”
And he didn’t just “do” it. He worked over an idea like a diamond cutter with facets and angles and refractions of light. He made you sorry you ever thought you wanted to be a comedian. He was like a train hobo with a chicken bone. When he was done there was nothing left for anybody.
But his brilliance fathered dozens of great comedians. I personally never cared about “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television,” or “FM & AM.” To me, everything he did just had this gleaming wonderful precision and originality.
I became obsessed with him in the ’60s. As a kid it seemed like the whole world was funny because of George Carlin. His performing voice, even laced with profanity, always sounded as if he were trying to amuse a child. It was like the naughtiest, most fun grown-up you ever met was reading you a bedtime story.
I know George didn’t believe in heaven or hell. Like death, they were just more comedy premises. And it just makes me even sadder to think that when I reach my own end, whatever tumbling cataclysmic vortex of existence I’m spinning through, in that moment I will still have to think, “Carlin already did it.”