you think you got problems... ?

Say a guy is unemployed, his unemployment having just run out, and here he's earned so little taxable income in the previous year that he doesn't qualify for renewal. He's pushing 50, hasn't gotten laid since sometime during his marriage a million years ago, and, to top it all off, it's Monday - but, y'know, he wakes up, falls outta bed, turns on the box and... finds out it's worse than he thought.