Thursday, September 04, 2008

live-blogging mccain putting us all to sleep...

10:15 - What? They're going with the green background again? There you go: he and/or his people don't learn from their mistakes.

10:17 - Wow! They let a guy in with the sign "McCain votes against vets"! MSNBC shows it; count on that guy getting bludgeoned before the end of the speech.

10:19 - 90-something Mama McCain takes a kiss-blow. And she looks spryer than Mr. 5-1/2-years-in-a-box.

10:21 - To Obama: "You have my respect and my admiration. More unites us than divides us." Okay, Senator -- two points.

10:21 - The background switches to blue. And two points to Cindy who actually doesn't look skanky 2nite. Although Sarah P. still looks like she should be dressed in leather & fishnets and crackin' a whip. Whee!

P.S. Who knew Repubs could spell "U.S.A."?

10:23 - A dark-haired hooker gets escorted (get it?) out of the center. Bring back the band "Hookers & Blow"... !

Update: Just read it somewhere she was Code Pink. Uhm, nevermind!

10:24 - Don't stand on my side, Senator. No need for another bowel obstruction.

10:25 - The Dominatrix (Palin) takes a bow.

10:26 - "She knows who she works for." Right! Karl Rove! Atta go, Senator!

10:27 - "I can't wait until I introduce her to Washington." - Yup! Escort services at Nexus on Capitol Hill. Been there. Done that. Oh, wait! Did I say that out loud!?

10:28 - This speech is par for McCain's course. Unpersuasive.

10:29 - Ridin' a trail to who knows where, luck is his companion, easier to tame. Riverboat, ring your bell. Fairwell, Annabelle! Luck is the lady that he loved the best. Back in New Orleans. Livin' on Jacks & Queens. "Maverick" is the legend of the west.

10:30 - You will know their names. You will know their names. Whatever.

10:31 - OMG! This is such a lame speech! Hahahahah!

10:32 - Aha! David Betray-us! McCain's real soulmate.

10:33 - Bill & Sue Neevy?? WTF?

10:34 - Ever notice when they mention the odd American family by name, they always live in a battleground state? Feh!

10:35 - "... When some Republicans gave into temptation." (But not me -- John McCain -- Noooo!!)

10:36 - Dying to find out if the talking heads lie thru their teeths about "how good this speech was."

10:36 - "We're all God's children. And we're all Americans!" Good t'know.

10:37 - Ooo -- another shot of the Dominatrix.

10:37 - Judges who don't legislate from the bench. Last time a liberal did that was 1971. The four horsemen do that all the time now.

10:39 - Shopping list of things t'do. Sounds like a Dem here, but who's paying attention?

10:40 - Nice tie. Bet Cindy-bags spent $10K on it.

10:42 - "Education is the civil rights issue of this century." Is this not a Dem?

10:42 - Crowd shot: underwhelmed hooters & hollerers, all of whom must be thinking, "Oh Christ! This guy sucks big dogs!"

P.S. The Dominatrix' hooters are the only ones not underwhelming.

10:44 - Oop! The cams caught a yawner.

10:44 - "We're not gonna send money to countries that don't like us very much." Standing Oh! But then this means we get to keep all our money.

10:45 - Drill! Drill! Drill! And a shot of the Dominatrix brings home that point. Mm-hmm!

10:46 - "Hybrid & electric automobiles." Definitely a Dem.

10:46 - Uh oh. The crowd is looking more & more bored.

10:48 - Oh! I just yawned too. Won't be long now.

10:48 - What's this? A black woman in the audience? Doesn't looked pleased, but that could mean just about ANYTHING!!

10:50 - "When I was 5 years old, a car pulled up in front of my house." Right, and Abba kept him company in the Hanoi Hilton.

10:51 - Definitely a nice tie.

10:52 - Definitely a subdued audience. An audience that knows a pig in a poke when they have to listen to one.


10:53 - "Instead of fighting over who gets the credit, lets try sharing it." And the Bushie in the crowd is thinking, "I came to Minne-f'ing-appolis to hear this??"

10:55 - I got shot down over North Vietnam because I'm a total fuck-up, and this is how I found that out.

10:57 - Multiple VFWers in the crowd. Thanks, boys! Now go vote Obama!!

10:58 - "They broke me." And now here I've signed off on breaking others in Guantanimo. After all: Fair's fair, eh?

11:00 - And now the flag GIF on the blue screen in the background hangs limp.

11:02 - Advocating a bigger government? Comfort the afflicted? Champion the rights of the oppressed? Repubs feel betrayed.

11:03 - Fight with me. Fight with me. And if you didn't hear me, fight with me.

11:03 - Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. (No exclaimation points necessary).

11:04 - End of speech. And there you have it, America, the Maverick & the MILF!

Que the balloons!

Update: Josh Marshall's live-blog. Great minds, etc.

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