help wanted...

Wanted: Kangaroo to preside over trials involving people with brown skin. Must assume facts not in evidence, be quick with conveyor belt and like warm weather. Arabic speaker a plus but not necessary. Civil libertarians need not apply. Contact: Pentagon, Arlington, VA.

easy, fellah...

Ol' Bob Dole has a Viagra-filled mad-on for Scott McLellan.

Yo, Bob! Dude! Yer suppossssed to call a doctor if the thing lasts longer'n 4-1/2 hours.

another one bites the dust...

Harvey Korman: 1927 - 2008

Carol Burnett's main man side-kick. Grew up loving his incapacity to keep a straight face on-stage whenever he had to look at Tim Conway. 'Twas funny stuff.

where has the time... ?

I asked the class for which I subbed today: "Who's psyched about a Celtics/Lakers final?"

Many raised their hands, of course. After all, this is Maine -- the soul of New England. But I was saddened nonetheless. None remember Larry Bird.

"I've heard of him," said one.

C'monnn, '86 was only yesterday!

"I was born in '92."

Oh for...

Look, kid, go Youtube his ass! See what the heart of a lion looks like.

And Kobe me no Kobe!

Celtics in 6!

g.'s new rule...

We all should have such a "body woman."

i mean, they've stopped at nothing before...

Alien Video to be Released to Media [Friday]:

An instructor at the Colorado Film School in Denver scrutinized the video "very carefully" and determined it was authentic, Peckman said.

Anybody wanna bet against this being just another Bushie endeavor, in this case to distract from the McClellan allegations?

chix in the sity...

Manhattan's agog o'er the Sex Premiere. A chick-flick fersherr, but I always liked it on HBO because, well, it's babes doin' the big apple!!

And I'd like to handle casting for Sex In The City - The Next Generation.

Uhm, please?

Reckon I'll hav'ta catch it on disc.

what happens to the bacteria when all the plastic is gone... ?

This could be great! news:

Plastic takes thousands of years to decompose -- but 16-year-old science fair contestant Daniel Burd made it happen in just three months.

Now if only we can figure a way for bacteria to consume all the Republicans, we may yet find our way back to Eden.

i'd buy that for a dollar...

Barry Nolan was fired because:

O’Reilly was an appalling choice, not because of his political views, but because he simply gets the facts wrong, abuses his guests and the powerless in general, is delusional, and, well, you might want to Google: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Imagining here Nolan & Keith Olbermann are seated at center table and seen whispering & tittering to each other while Bill O'Reilly, only ten feet away and clearly steaming by it, tries to maintain his composure during his speech.

-----------
Update: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV-R), the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy."^[1]

lieberman to host "nazis for mccain" event...

Oh wait! He just wants to party with Pastor Hagee.

Well, I was close!

another one bites the sand...

Geremi Gonzalez: 1974 - 2008

Posted here not so much for who he was but how he died:

Former major league pitcher Geremi Gonzalez, who pitched for the Boston Red Sox in 2005, was killed yesterday by a lightning strike at a beach in his native Venezuela. He was 33.

Considering the omniscient they who say don't hide under a tree during an electrical storm, this is pretty, uhm, striking.

the shoe doth fit...

Ooo! The White House is all hot & bothered:

Having saddled the military with a botched, unwinnable war, having squandered soldiers’ lives and failed them in so many ways, the commander in chief now resists giving the troops a chance at better futures out of uniform.

That they're reacting like this to the New York Times is delightful. And how 'bout the Times stepping away from their years-old sycophancy with regard to the Iraq occupation, eh?

another one bites the dust...

Sydney Pollack: 1934 - 2008

Movie producer, director and actor; my favorite of his being the greatest CIA movie of all time: Three Days of the Condor, a movie never more relevant than it is today.

Also, Tootsie.

handwriting on the wall...

The JCS Chairman is afraid the Republicans are losing the troops:

“The U.S. military must remain apolitical at all times and in all ways,” wrote the chairman, Adm. Mike Mullen, the nation’s highest-ranking officer. “It is and must always be a neutral instrument of the state, no matter which party holds sway.”

Wise words, of course, but after decades of a rightist sway -- e.g., the evangelizing of Gen. William Boykin, General David Petraeus' shilling more war for the Bushies, or the Air Force Academy's right-wing push for Jesus, etc. -- one cannot help but think Mullen's motive is less of doing the right thing, vis a vis the best interests of the troops, so much as his realizing the evident groundswell rising up from the enlisted ranks, and even the officer corp., to boot the GOP to the curb and with prejudice.

another one bites the dust...

Dick Martin: 1922 - 2008

You bet yer sweet bippy!

rectitude as p.r...

Conason fleshes out a little background on the walking fraudulence that is Joe Lieberlips.

judging a book by its cover...

The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder

I really gotta read more.

yah! what he said... !

Even John McCain agrees he's too old to be president.

rest (un)easy, america... !

This means I can sleep tonight:

The Field can now confirm, based on multiple sources, something that both campaigns publicly deny: that Senator Clinton has directly told Senator Obama that she wants to be his vice presidential nominee, and that Senator Obama politely but straightforwardly and irrevocably said “no.” Obama is going to pick his own running mate based on his own criteria and vetting process.

----------
Update: Of course, resorting to blackmail is something even Hillary *cough* wouldn't consider:

"[T]here's a risk that if she isn't invited on the ticket, Hillary's political and financial supporters may not feel compelled to be as integrated and involved in the Obama campaign in order to provide the maximum support that he'll need to prevail in November."

substitute teaching in the 21st century...

So I'm in with the middle school kids one day -- 6th, 7th, 8th graders, I forget which at the moment.

"Who's the smartest kid in class?" I ask out loud.

Naturally 4 or 5 raise their hands. I look at the quickest, a small boy with a confident air.

"You! You're the smartest kid in this class?"

"Thaaat's right!"

"Good," I say smiling, and I foist syllabus materials at him. "Make sure everybody gets one of these!"

The entire class roars.

I'm like a god for the next 45 minutes.

oh, tsk... !

Hillary's never more popular with her symps than when she plays the victim.

begging the question...

If it appears on The View, does the M$M pick it up?

"One more point," continued Behar, pulling out a prepared statement. "It's very interesting and ironic that George Bush, Senior's -- er, George Bush, this one -- his grandfather -- this one -- the late -- I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but in this case it's fun -- he was a United States senator, Prescott Bush. Okay -- he was a director and shareholder of companies that profited from their involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany."

You go, grrl!

al gore for vp...

Lebron wishes he could slam dunk like this.

It makes sense. Hillary is out of the question. Obama would have to be insane to put two megalomaniacs on the ticket; self-absorbed sociopaths who would eclipse his candidacy. No, somebody with military/foreign policy experience is needed, leading me to think Wesley Clark or, were I to bite the bullet, Joe Biden. But now, gotta think Al Gore would be a major coup and make Obama unstoppable.

Meanwhile, can John McSame actually pick somebody the Christianists won't accept; a Mormon, say? Or will he have to bring aboard the Jesus-loves-squirrel-on-popcorn-popper gourmet Huckleberry Huckabee?

If I didn't know a whole lotta precincts were already fixed, I'd say '08 promises to be a laugh-riot.

put this in yer pipe and smoke it, john mccain... !!

Obama Draws Record Crowd Of 75,000 in Portland

At one point, someone in the crowd shouted an expression of love at Obama. He broke his speech for a moment: "I love you too," he said.

"If you vote for me on Tuesday," he said, "We won't just win Oregon. We'll win this nomination, we'll win this general election. And you and I together, we'll change this country, we'll change the world."

Seventy-five thousand people seemed to like the sound of that.

"My friends, we are sooo screwed!"

as ye sow...

This left me shaking my head:

Hillary Turns Fire On Media

Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign is increasingly aiming its punches not at her front-running opponent Barack Obama, but at the media.

Wait! This is this the same Hillary who cozies up to the likes of Rupert Murdoch and Richard Mellon Scaife, right?

It's like the ex- used to say to me oh so long ago: "When you lay down with swine, you wind up smelling like a porkchop."

The things I remember.

----------
Update: Oh right! Forgot to employ my unbridled cynicism, surprising given who we're dealing with here. Hillary doesn't have a legit gripe against the media, but she scores points with the -- Wait for it! -- "low-information Democrats" who take exception to the media telling them the truth -- in this case, their vote being not worth spit. That's right: Hillary's telling them to shoot the messengers.

obama doesn't need me...

Bowers at Open Left:

Was it the right decision to back Obama? Hard to say for certain, but on balance my guess is still yes. I miss the days when we could play all three top candidates off each other. Unfortunately, that ship sailed the day Edwards failed to win Iowa, and the campaign lurched to the right as a result.

Basically it's Obama exhibiting his need not to appear beholden to the progressive base (a.k.a., the Democratic wing) of the Democratic party, seeing as how the corporate media will use it in any event as a hook upon which to hang their corporate hats. Hey, more power to 'im. We beat Hillary the Bush/McSame symp, and that'll keep me sated well into the fall -- knock wood!

Meanwhile, prince of darkness type Bob Novak says a civil disturbance inside the Republican party is afoot:

Huckabee's announced support of McCain is unequivocal, and he is regarded in the McCain camp as a friend and ally. But credible activists are spreading the word that Huckabee secretly allies himself with the bitter-end opposition. That hardly seems possible considering his public backing, but critics of Huckabee's 10 years as governor of Arkansas say he is all too capable of playing a double game.

Of course I'm rooting for the li'l Christianists on this front thinking they're just so far out there that they'll succeed only at a further hollowing out of the Republican party, i.e., what's left of 'em come 2012.

the tide, she be a'turnin'...

If the lefty bloggers hadn't pushed the story, the M$M wouldn't have had it on their radar, let alone bothered McSame about it, and Wild John Hagee wouldn't be made to apologize for denigrating Catholics.

That's right, the righty apologizes for once!

ohhh, canada... !

Lovely! Courts are now ordering the removal of references to Taserings from official records. The public, you see, need not know cops are growing further out of control, killing people by way of electrocution, whether in attempt to subdue a violent individual, or simply to motivate the passive non-compliant.

The power, it grows more absolute, and is corrupting absolutely.

well, to be honest...

It says here Hamas has more credibility and, sadly ironic, a greater decency, especially when one considers the bomb-Iran droolings of a Joe Lieberlips or his charge McSame the presumptive Republican nominee.

And how stupid can McSame be inflicting Lieberlips at his side and into the cameras everywhere he goes. I was gonna sit out this election; not vote. I thought it was gonna be Hillary and, well, let's face it: she's never been more unacceptable. This 60s right-wing extremism-in-the-defense-of-liberty-is-no-vice princess cum post-feminist corprobot poseur of the blue collar, who can now race-bait like she's suckled George Wallace.

Not a pretty picture.

Meanwhile, Obama was, at one time, heard chirping gospel & hymm to the Christianists; talking of privatizing Social Security... going *cough* on Fox Newssss!

So I was gonna stay home. Except now McSame keeps flaunting Lieberlips at me. Doesn't he know people will actually go vote to not have to look at that dried-up protoplasmic ooze that Lieberlips calls a face. That's how he got kicked out of the Connecticut Democratic party, remember?

So where do I go register to vote?

touched by evil...

She may have lost the nomination, but it doesn't look like she'll go away quietly anytime soon.

Meanwhile, SNL's Amy Poehler pretty well summarizes She Who Must be Stopped.

what's it called, an impromptu cardioversion... ?

Imagining this as Dubya's idea of a good healthcare plan: have a cop administer the treatment!

they weren't *ball* bearings by any chance... ?

Lieberman re: his charge: "I Personally Checked John McCain’s Bearings."

P.S. Kudos to Obama for nailing McCain with the nice left jab. It says here if a candidate is clearly an elder and has a history of misfires, then said candidate's synapses, and whether they're crispy or not, are relevant in determining one's presidential timber and cannot be deemed prejudicial.

jeez, where'd that gray hair come from... !?

Has it really been 10 years since Seinfeld went off the air?

of flag pins & the like...

The question you'll never hear Tim Russert ask John McCain:

Audience member: This question goes to mental health and mental health care. Previously, I've been married to a woman that was verbally abusive to me. Is it true that you called your wife a (expletive)?

McCain: Now, now. You don't want to... Um, you know that's the great thing about town hall meetings, sir, but we really don't, there's people here who don't respect that kind of language. So I'll move on to the next questioner in the back.

Goes to credibility and character, yerronner.

And how 'bout that slide step by the pitcher?