john mccain at his job interview...

So why do you want to be President, Mr. McCain?

"I know how to win wars. And if I'm elected President, I will turn around the war in Afghanistan, just as we have turned around the war in Iraq, with a comprehensive strategy for victory."

Well, before I employ you, Mr. McCain, can you give me an example where you've actually won a war before? Let's see here...

- Ah! Shot down and held prisoner for a number of years, mm hmm. A war we lost, I note.

- Voted aye on the invasion and occupation of a neutral country, yeahhh! Uh huh... And how's that going these days?  Hmm? Oh yes, your assurances are, uhm, reassuring, but you don't mind if I get that independently corroborated, do you?

- Well you certainly know how to wage war, Mr. McCain, that much is clear. But what makes you think you know how to win one?

Uhh, Mr. McCain?

[crickets chirping]...

Well, we'll keep your padded resume on file and get back to you.

NEXT!